Get out a 8×11′ piece of paper and make a line in the middle creating two sides. On the top of one write, “My 10%.” On the other write. “for the Greater Good 90%.”

Then under your 10% write all the things you really want to experience in your life and also the things that are currently causing you worry, fear, feel unhappy, depressed, distracted, and tired.

Now I want you to circle the things that are under your immediate control. The things that aren’t I want you to cross out and transcribe to other side of the paper under the heading “for The Greater Good 90%.”

For example if one of the things I want is to release 10lbs and get in shape, but Im afraid that I will never have the willpower. I would place the”never have the willpower” on “for the Greatest Good” side of the page!

Can you allow yourself to let go of those things that you have no control over right now?

Place your hand on your heart and say, “I and allowing myself to let go of my fear that I won’t have any money. I am allowing The Greater Good assistance in my life as partner to support me.”

Great!

How many of the things under “My 10%” can you take a simple next action on in the next couple of days? What is that next action step? Write it down! Commit to a date. Call a friend or coach or email them to help you stay accountable to getting it done!

Are any of the things on your list, “someday one day maybe items”? It’s important to capture everything on paper! Create a separate someday one day list. Someday one day I will bungie jump!

According to David Allen, author of, ” Getting Things Done,” we are likely to seize opportunities that arise if we have identified and captured them as a possibility.

Once your mind is free and the greater good is your partner you can now co-create from a place of inspiration and imagination and presence because you no longer have all of these cycles of incomplete action running in your mind!

I am in preparation mode for my trip to Bali to study Space Clearing with Karen Kingston.

The process of clearing, releasing, re-setting the energy grid in my body, mind and spirit begins now.

Old things, broken things, papers with scribble and doodles, gifts from old lovers, love letters, books I haven’t looked at in 3 years, books I will never read for another 10, and much more has left my space.

I have tossed, burned, gifted and sold many of the belongings that have taken up stock in my life and kept me anchored to a past that I now bless, but no longer need in my life.

The universe abhors a vacuum and I am ready for the NOW where abundance, love and peace grace every area of my life!

When you look at the ocean do you judge it for being too big, too small, the wrong shade of blue, not quite magnificent as you had expected, or perhaps too magnificent? Do you say, “this ocean isn’t good enough for me!”

Unless you’re a surfer and always looking for that perfect wave, I would venture to say probably not. If you’re like most of us, when you go to the ocean, you probably pause in awe of her majesty, beauty and perfection.

In feng shui we look at the yin and the yang, dark and the light, the hot and the cold, and the hard and the soft. We don’t say that one is better or worse than the other, but instead we focus on the interplay of these two energies and the perfection that emerges from their dance.

We have an innate acceptance and appreciation for nature. Even when there is an obvious imbalance, like a tidal storm or an earthquake. There is still this part within us that accepts it as having to be so. Yes sometimes we scream at g-d and maybe even blame the eco-system, and yet there is a silent understanding an immediate forgiveness of nature, right?

These last couple of days I’ve been comparing myself to my friends who I think are “making it,” or to the girls on the beach who I think have “hotter bodies than mine,” or to all those people already where I want to be. I even found myself comparing myself to the idealized version of me in my mind.

Until today.

I sat on the beach, took in a deep breath and looked at the ocean. I looked at her and was overcome with a sense of compassion.

Why is it hardest to find compassion and acceptance for ourselves?

It isn’t.

It’s as simple as giving yourself permission because if you don’t no one else will. You have the turn key that can make that change. You are the master waiting for yourself to wake up.

Roberto Assiogoli, modern psychologist, student of Freud and Kabbalist, would do this exercise where he would have you imagine the ocean. Feel the love, the appreciation and acceptance you have for it, and then turn your eyes back on yourself and look at yourself from that perspective.

Try it now.

Imagine you are sitting on the sand and you see the sparkling waters. The ocean stretches farther than you can see. Past any limits and any parameters. Endless flowing love. Feel the acceptance.

Once you have created that feeling within you..the feeling of peace, acceptance and gratitude, now get up and go to the mirror. Look at your face as if you are looking at the ocean. Can you see the perfection? The grace with which it was created. Can you see how every line, pimple wrinkle, freckle and dimple were stamped there by the hand of the creator?

If you can have acceptance for just one thing in this life, be it an ocean, the way your husband snores, or the cellulite on your rear end, then you can find acceptance for all things.

The Feng Shui of Dating.

I’m not much of a dater. Never have been. I usually know within the first 5 minutes if you’re the person I’m going to marry. This eliminates lots of time spent wining and dining me and getting to know each better.

One day a friend of mine, an author of books on attracting love and dating suggested I re-frame my notion of dating. She said that perhaps dating didn’t have to feel like an energy drain, but could actually be fun! I didn’t know what could be fun about sitting across a table from a guy that you know you’re never going to marry, you’re never going to sleep with, and you’re never going to kiss-if I want a gourmet free meal, I can go home to my parents. My mother is an excellent chef!  

Nevertheless, one night while I was experimenting with this new possibility, I went to a friend’s art openings and met Frank. He was nice and cute, but extremely short. He said he was documentary producer and a tutor on the side. I got this strange feeling about him that I can’t really explain. Since I was donning my new attitude I decided that I’m not going to assume I know everything.

We set a date and time. We were to meet at a nice Thai restaurant in Santa Monica for lunch. I wore my new pink sweater with tight jeans and an adorable blue hat that framed my face. I was excited and I liked this new feeling of not placing a label on Frank. I noticed my mind wanting to go to its familiar place of “OK, so what’s the hit? Is he the soulmate?” But instead I said, “I won’t go there, at least not until after the date.”

As I was looking for parking, I got a call from Frank. “Hey, listen, I’m on my way. I was in such a rush leaving the house that I left my wallet at home and I’m already so close, would you mind covering for me?” I thought about this for a moment. The old me would say, “That’s OK, I’ll wait for you. Why don’t you turn around and go home and get your wallet.”  But this was the new me, so I said, “Oh no problem.”

I’ve always had men pay for me, so I was stretching myself here. The newness of my attitude was refreshing, but simultaneously I was experiencing nausea creeping up in my belly. When I got to the restaurant, he was already there-sitting on the side of the table that had the widest view of the entire room, up against the wall, and in Feng Shui that would be known as the “commanding position.” It’s basically the power spot. He didn’t ask me where I wanted to sit-so I sat right in front of him, with my back exposed to all the traffic of waiters walking by and customers being seated at their tables.  For a Feng Shui practitioner, or anyone who is hyper attuned to their environment, it’s a very uncomfortable position. Not to mention it’s not very courteous of Frank! Here’s how the rest of the date went:

Frank: Hi, so nice to see you.

Frank doesn’t get out of his seat to greet me.

Inessa: Sorry I’m a few minutes late. I was looking for parking.

Frank: Oh, ya. Listen, do you have $2 in quarters. I parked at the meter and like I said, I left my wallet at home.

Inessa takes out two dollars from her wallet.

Frank takes the money and runs out of the restaurant. While Inessa sits and waits she becomes increasingly more and more irritated and decides to make herself more comfortable by switching seats and taking Frank’s place. Frank comes back into the restaurant.

Frank: I don’t get it.

Inessa: You don’t get what?

Frank continues to stand with his mouth gaping wide.

Frank: Why did you take my seat?

Inessa: Well, as you know, I practice feng shui-the art of placement- and I was feeling very uneasy sitting with my back to the door.

Frank: Nice one.

Inessa: I can move back if you’d like.

Frank: That’s fine, but just this time.

They look through the menu and order. There is a tense silence. Inessa occasionally taps her glass with her fork.

Frank: You know, in my house, I always got the chair with the best view.

Inessa: Really, well in my house we had this thing called chivalry, and the men honored the women.

In a nutshell, I learned that new paradigms are fun to try out and it’s always a good idea to stretch yourself and your beliefs and have more expansive flexible ways of thinking. However, in this situation, the red flags were apparent from the first moment I met Frank when I had a strange feeling.  I want to acknowledge myself for trying something new and taking a risk. I still believe that the greatest knowing comes from within. Even if a book or a friend tells you to so something doesn’t mean that you should go out of your way to do things that don’t feel natural. I don’t believe we are all made equally-some of us are more attuned to our intuition then others, and when we are ready, then the right partner will show up and we don’t need to do things that we don’t like in order to make it happen. For example, it could happen in the store, at the gas station, and most likely it will happen where and when you least expect it.  

So you probably think that since I’m a Feng Shui consultant I have the most amazing Feng Shui. Meaning everything is always in alignment, the water from my fountain is flowing in the right direction, the earth, fire and metal are all balanced in my space, my bed is in the ideal position and I live in a human comfort zone all of the time. Right?

Wrong.

Yes, I’m human, but I don’t always live in a comfort zone. Just ask my car and she will tell you:

The Chi Mobile: I have a bone to pick with Inessa! She likes to occasionally eat in me and sometimes she even keeps her sushi containers overnight. High Alert, high alert, spicy tuna smell lingering.  Please evacuate the premise. At times, Inessa will leave her sneakers in the trunk and then she runs around her home looking for them for like an hour and ultimately she finds them where she left them and we just lost an entire hour that we could have worked out. I truly think this is her way of not having to go to the gym. Oh, and I have to tell you that it gets lonely driving only Ms. Inessa around all over town. You see she gets really embarrassed about letting other people, especially boys, ride in me because well, um…..is that Soy sauce on the passenger Seat?’

Folks as embarrassing as it is to make this admission; I highly recommend you give your vehicle a voice. Not taking care of my car was another way of not showing up for myself my life. My car is what gets me around from one place to another and when it’s not in a state of Zen-well then neither am I and am much more likely to get upset or irritable driver syndrome, AKA “Road Rage.”

After letting my car vent, I decided it was time to Feng Shui her the right way! First I took her to the car wash on Lincoln in Santa Monica, right off of the 10 freeway exit. For only $50, not only were my seats and carpets shampooed, but the exterior was washed, waxed and polished. The Chi Mobile felt like an all new and shiny hybrid!

Then, I emptied my entire trunk, including my sneakers, and the stuff that I’ve been meaning to give away or throw away for the longest time. Next, I hung a crystal from the rear view mirror to deflect road range and circulate the chi. And finally, I blessed and thanked the Chi Mobile for all her hard work in getting me around and for not polluting our environment, like some other cars on the road.

Can I just tell you that having a sweet smelling car, with clean windows so people can actually see me, paid off momentarily!

The following day on my way to see a new client, something that has never ever happened to me before took place on the 110N freeway: A young man honked at me. But that’s not all. He turned and he waved. I was flattered, so I waved back. Then he blew me a kiss, so I decided to play along and blew him one too. Then he rolled down his windows and shouted, ”Those are beautiful eyes,” and so I winked like 30 winks with the only eye that knows how to wink. “Can I get your number,” he shouted. I went along with the fun and games and waved my business card in the air. Then he shouted, “Stop your car!”  I laughed. He can’t be serious.  ”No I mean it. Stop your car!”  So in the middle of rush hour traffic (thank God it was slow, and I don’t recommend this to anyone) I stopped. He then ran out of his car and literally kissed me on the cheek and ripped my card out of my hand. People were honking and it was like a scene out of a movie that has yet to be made. Wow, life is definitely stranger than art.

I’m not saying that by cleaning your car, you’re going to have a gorgeous man in his mid 20’s practically jump your breaks, but sometimes for things to get through my head, I need them LOUD  and CLEAR. Now that the “Chi Mobile” was Shwayed, we were receiving feedback from the universe that when I take care of myself, it feels good and people notice. Not to mention any question about the permanence of my 30 something single status has been washed away- at least temporarily. My self-esteem has been on a high for like a week.

I’m sure you’re wondering if he has called or will I go out with him. I’ll have to leave that for “Tales of The Chi Mobile” part II.”

Yesterday I visited the home of two bachelors in their late thirties maybe early forties. Both are very handsome men, athletic and successful-oh and did I mention extremely confident in their abilities to woo and romance women.

However, neither of them are currently in relationships and both say that they want something more serious. At least that’s what they are saying with their lips. Their bedrooms told me a slightly different story.  

Luke, an avid mountain climber and daredevil, ended his last relationship becasue he felt like the girl had a big hole that needed to be filled and nothing he could do could fill it and boy did he try.

OK, so why are you attracting girls with holes to fill?  What belief are you holding onto that would bring in that type of experience?

I found a clue in the relationship section of his room. By the way, in case you don’t know already, the relationship section is always in the far right hand corner of every room and the house (from the front door and the doors to every room.)

In Luke’s relationship corner was… and I kid you not, “A Crash Pad.” If you’re not familiar with that gadget is, let me tell you! A crash pad is used by mountain climbers as an intervention tool between them, the mountain and the ground. It’s so that if they fall from the mountain, the crash won’t be so bad, and their landing will be much softer.  

Yikes, so in Luke’s mind (probably unconscious) he was setting himself up already for the inevitable “Crash” in his relationships.  I mean he had the crash pad positioned on the other side of his bed and it was partially blocking a prospective partners entrance.

Luke says that this was the first time that he left, and that usually he stays and caretakes in this type of relationship.  Kudos on that one Luke!

Perhaps on some level the “crash pad” was helping, but only to the extent of supporting the existing  paradigm that he’s holding onto about relationships in general. In other words, he wouldn’t even be attracting women that needed to be fixed unless somewhere in him was the matching energy of “over-responsibility” and since  I’m all about setting him to experience ultimate fulfillment, the “crash pad” has to go!

Moving the crash pad reinforces the already shift in his consciousness of attracting in healthier relationships.

In Jim’s Romance section we found a picture of his old girlfriend from Australia, from 7 years ago. She was in a little plastic zip lock bag, “But that relationship didn’t end poorly,” he said.

Doesn’t matter. Old picture, old girlfriend, old energy and thus no space for someone new.  So the picture along with the crash pad went into storage.

Both men’s beds were not exactly in the “ideal Feng Shui” position either, which essentially means having the widest view of the room and the door from where you are sleeping and not being intersected with energy from the door. Yes, many Feng Shui books talk about positioning your bed facing north. That might work, but not at the expense of having a partial view of the door. Even cowboys knew that they had the most power and less chances of being killed when they had the widest vantage point.

For both men, the door was directly in alignment with the bed and the energy was cutting them somewhere between their hearts and their male genitalia.

My interpretation:  You’re not fully integrated yet between heart/mind and pure physical attraction when it comes to making romantic choices in your love life and can sometimes be purely driven below the belt. Moreover, because you have to crank your head to see who is entering, this could be a sign of unforeseen events or a blind spot in you perceptual filter.

My next step is to get the guys to move their beds into the commanding/power position.

Wish Me Good Luck!